Some of my friends provide a lot of content to the Green Section of Philly.com, and, in October, they asked me to write this little editorial for them.  Apparently, the powers that be weren't impressed.  But I kind of like it.  So onto the internets it goes...

In September, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield urging them to eliminate cow's milk from their ice cream and suggesting that they replace it with human's milk.  They explained that not only is mother's milk far healthier than cow's milk, but commercial dairy farming, which ultimately consists of enslaving cows and holding them in perpetual lactation through forced pregnancy, is fundamentally inhumane.

Ben and Jerry responded quickly and politely:

We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child.

On their blog, PETA responded to the response:

Hey, guys, that's our point: Cow's milk is for baby cows.

And it's a good point.  PETA is absolutely right: cows are treated inhumanely, and that's something people should be working to stop.

I'm not impressed, however, with the means by which PETA is trying to stop it.

Whether or not breast milk ice cream is a reasonable or virtuous idea, it's radical.  It asks consumers to see things differently, and it asks industry to do things differently.  And, in my opinion, writing a note to Ben and Jerry, asking them to take a big business risk, and sending the letter out in a press release is not the way to make radical change.  I think it does little but legitimize the opinions of those that consider PETA an uncreative, self-congratulatory fringe organization.

And, as someone that wants there to exist a strong activist group fighting the greed and cruelty that have led humans to treat other species so thoughtlessly, I'm frustrated.

I don't think PETA has to live on that fringe, and I have a suggestion.

I suggest that PETA work to prove the concept that breast milk ice cream is both culturally palatable and economically viable.

Over two million people in the PETA community, right?  I bet there are a solid handful of pregnant women and new mothers in that group, and I bet they'd be happy to make a donation to some PETA R&D efforts.

And Ben and Jerry "applaud" your "novel approach," no?  Maybe they'd be willing to lend you a recipe or two.  Maybe they'd even lend you a graphic designer and make you up a batch of PETA branded pint containers.

Produce the ice cream, PETA.  Lug a machine into the office.  Buy some sugar.  And make a batch of vanilla.

Then give it away.  Get feedback.  Tell people about it.  Collect some data.  Make a taste test video.  Produce some more.  Send it to the FDA for testing.  Try to sell it cheap.  Get in contact with hospitals and maternity stores and online communities populated with moms-to-be, and talk to them about cost of production.  Buy from the reasonable sellers.  Produce from that stock.  Sell it at cost.  Sell it for a profit.

And then go back to Ben and Jerry.  And then explain to them why it's important and how to market it to the innovators and early adopters.  And then ask them to take some risk.

You have an idea, PETA.  If you're passionate about it, don't dump it off on other people and whine when they don't love it as much as you do.  Go make it happen yourselves.  And forget core competency.  Who cares if you produce media, not ice cream.  If you think this ice cream helps achieve the goals your organization was formed to achieve, then make the ice cream.

Note: As a totally irrelevant aside, the most adventurous dairy product I've ever consumed is mare's milk.  Fermented mare's milk.  In Mongolia.  And it was disgusting.  Disgusting in no small part because of the flies and other surprises that floated to the surface after every sip.